Lets Start at the Very Beginning

I've been toying around with starting a blog for sometime now - and honestly, do not know why I chose tonight to do it, but here it is.  So....let's start at the beginning - or - at least - the beginning of some major changes in my journey.

LOVE & LOSS
To begin my journey here in my blog, I really have to back up about 3 years in the past.  My relationship with my mom was wonderful - we talked or emailed almost every day (she lived in Florida) - she had already successfully battled 2 bouts of cancer, and was doing quite well...and she confided in me that while she had successfully battled it in the past, each time got harder, and she didn't want to fight it again, and that if she got cancer again, she would not seek any treatment.  That broke my heart to hear, but I understood.  Skip to October of 2008 - Mom was starting to feel poorly, and I told her I was pregnant with our 2nd child.  Additionally, my neice was also 5 months along with her first baby.  Mom was expecting her first great-grandchild and another grandchild.  When she found out for sure that she was indeed battling cancer again, she decided to hold on and try to fight.  While I was thankful that she was trying to fight, it quickly became evident that it was not really working.  My mom, who I used to talk to daily, did not even have the strength to say hello into the phone.  It was the hardest 9 months of my life.  Alex was due the end of May, and I prayed every day that she would hold on long enough for Alex to be born, and for us to get to Florida so she could meet him, and that I could see her one last time.  Thankfully, Alex was born 5 weeks early, and was cleared to travel in mid-May.  I will never forget the last words she said to me and to John - and the joy she got when I introduced her to her newest grandson...and I miss her every day.  Even now, 18 months after her passing, I still catch myself going to write her an email, or picking up the phone to call her to share some news of the day.
Then, in 2010 alone, we lost John's Aunt to a long term illness, and 2 friends of ours to very sudden deaths - the two sudden deaths hit my soul like a ton of bricks.  A very dear friend of mine, Tina, passed away in the spring of Leukemia.  She was diagnosed and was gone all within a months time.  She was my age - with 2 small children and a loving husband.  I cannot imagine not being there for my kids.  It truely scared me.  Then, in the summer, an old friend passed away in her sleep the night before her daughters wedding.  I felt like the universe was flashing a giant neon danger sign in my face.  It all hit a little too close to home.

LIFE CHANGES COME IN SMALL PACKAGES...
and his name is Alex.  Alex rocked our world in so many ways.  Just like his big brother, he came 5 weeks early.  I was even cleared to deliver him naturally, which was such a blessing to not have another C-Section.  Unlike his brother, even though he weighed more and was longer than John, he was not eating and was losing weight -and had to stay in the hospital an extra week.  We finally got him home, got him eating and for the most part was doing very well - until he was 6 months old - and tried his first bite of pasta - and broke out in hives from head to toe.  Thus started a whole new journey for us - food allergies.  Alex is severely allergic to gluten (no, not celac - its a true allergy) and mildly alleric to wheat in general.  The amount of changes that we have done to live with his allergy has been amazing.  Then - when we thought we covered all the bases, he would still break out in mystery hives.  Turned out, in a search for gluten free playdough recipe, we found a list of weird gluten facts - including that most "off the shelf" women's makeup contains gluten - especially lipstick.  Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a lipstick whore.  I was practically in tears when I realized that I was the one causing his mystery hives - and immediately dumped out the entire contents of my "makeup drawer" into the garbage.  But - again, the universe was sending me signs.  I had been using Mary Kay products for over 15 years, but never exclusively.  Unfortunately, my Mary Kay consultant was my friend Tina, who had just passed away the previous month.  2 days after doing research on all the "off the shelf" makeup containing gluten, my neighbor invited me to a Mary Kay party at her BFF's house.  Since I didn't have a consultant anymore, I agreed, because I wanted to know about their ingredients to see if it would be safe.  Sure enough - it is gluten free with the exception of the mascara and the eye primer.  So, I promptly booked a party for myself, and then, after some serious thought, decided to sell it myself.  Since then, no more mystery hives on Alex caused by mommy's kisses!!!

MAJOR DETOURS START WITH PAIN AND BIG DECISIONS...
So, meanwhile, while dealing with loss, food allergies, a new person in our house and general every day life, I of course have been trying to take some things to heart as I go along.  The first thing was that when I got pregnant with Alex, I was the heaviest weight I ever was in my life - 300 pounds.  Before Alex, I tried to exercise, but really had a rough time - knees and back just couldn't handle it.  With Alex, I had a very rough pregnancy - I actually lost a total of 50 pounds from the day I had my first OB appointment to the day I left the hospital after giving birth.  I felt great - or so I thought.  So, I started exercising more, started doing Zumba with some friends (LOVED IT, by the way...) and at first, all was well.  Sure, I was sore, but that's to be expected.  Then, after a few weeks, I was starting to have more and more pain.  By mid-summer, I had to stop doing Zumba completely - the pain in my back, knees, ankles, feet, etc were overwhelming.  Some mornings I can barely get out of bed.  So, here I am with a 1 year old and a 7 year old, and cannot keep up with them.  Couple that with the constant thought of my friend Tina leaving her 2 babies with no mother, and I found myself at my doctors asking for help.  I've always known that I would have arthritis in other joints someday.  I've had mild arthritis in my wrists since I was 16 years old.  I didn't think I would be getting it already at 36 years old.  The doctor confirmed my suspicion that yes, my weight can definately speed up the degeneration, and that if I don't do something quickly, I will only get worse, not better.  So, the decision was made that I would be having gastric bypass surgery.  My surgery date is December 29th.  I'm very excited and nervous all at the same time.  I should be ok to start doing my Wii Fit pretty quickly after my surgery, and hopefully after I lose the first 50 pounds, should be able to try Zumba again and see how the pain levels are.  I'm so thankful that my husband is supportive of me and of this decision, because I'm going to need all the love & support I can get - especially in the first 8 weeks. 

So - this is the documentation of the new leg of my life's journey - the continuing trials of Alex's allergies and my bariatric surgery!