Tomorrow is the Big Day!

Well, I'm sitting here, sipping my chicken broth, and realizing that tomorrow is the big day.  I'm starting to get a little nervous, but I'm ok.  I'm more hungry than anything else...LOL...today is "clear liquids only" day.  Surgery is scheduled for 9am, and we have to be at the hospital at 7am.  If everything goes according to plan, I should be home sometime on Thursday.  So, the rest of the afternoon will be me getting everything "settled" for the next few days - paying bills, setting out outfits for the boys, etc.
Catch you all on the flipside!

Happy Holidays - 4 days to go!

I hope today found everyone with family and friends, enjoying gifts, love and laughter - we certainly did!  Of course, the boys were up at the crack of dawn - John earlier than Alex, of course - but it didn't take long for John to wake up Alex - haha.  We were unwrapping  presents by 7:30am - but that was ok, because then we had quite a bit of time to relax and play before heading over to have Christmas with John's parents, sisters, spouses and children.  It was wonderful!  Dinner went very well (well, for everyone else - I enjoyed my crunchy carrots and protein drinks...), and everyone had a great time opening presents.  Renee, Julie & I even got surprise presents from Joan of cross-stitches of our most recent born babies "birth info".  They are beautiful.  It was interesting to have all the grandkids there playing in the living room - 1 baby, 2 toddlers, a 7 year old and a 12 year old pre-teen.  Crazy stuff indeed.....
I have to say, I have the best in-laws in the world.   All of them are very supportive of Alex's allergies, and try very hard to make sure that there's always something special for him to eat.  Joan made jello just for Alex, so that he could have desert tonight, and made sure that the ham was safe for him to eat.  She even picked up some really cool gluten free snack bars for him for Christmas.  They have also been very supportive of my decision to have the surgery, and happy about the news of the change to the type of surgery, and my comfort level with it.  Having their support has been a wonderful feeling, and is so greatly appreciated.  It's nice to know that I have the support of my family.  While I'm comfortable and excited about the surgery, it is surgery, and there's a part of me that is nervous - so having as much suport as I can is helping me so much!

Merry Christmas!

Here it is, 15 minutes until Christmas Day.  I've had a wonderful day with my boys, John did an awesome job getting all the presents wrapped, and now it's time to fill stockings, bring up the Santa presents and head to bed.  While John finishes up what he's doing, I have a couple minutes to reflect.  I have a lot to be thankful this Christmas - John's dad is in the homestretch of Chemo and is cancer free, I'm having my surgery next Wednesday to improve the life of myself and my family, and everyone else is healthy and thriving.  Alex & John are growing "like weeds" in both body, mind and personality. 
Christmas continues to be hard for me - it was my mom's signature holiday, and I find it hard to decorate the house or frost cookies without thinking of her.  This is the 2nd one without her, and it's definately easier than last year, but not by much.  Had it not been for John helping me along, the tree would never have gotten decorated this year.  I just try to smile at the fact that I know she's watching over all of us - all her kids, grandkids and great-grandkids this Christmas season - laughing and rejoycing with us all.
Love to you all - may your holidays be bright, full of laughter and yummy treats!  Eat a cookie and drink a glass of wine for me - I'll be enjoying my cream of wheat and yogurt tomorrow.   HAHA!

7 days and Counting

Today starts the 7 day countdown - and the mushy food.  The funny thing is that John (the 7 year old) is quite jealous of mommy's current diet - pudding, applesauce and yogurt are some of his favorite foods to eat!  I found that the Kroger brand protein drinks don't taste horrible, and that cream of wheat can be tolerated if I add yogurt to it. 
As for the family, today is John's last day of work until after the new year, so we're excited to have daddy home with us for a while starting tomorrow.  Other than a last minute gift card that needs to be accquired, we're done with our shopping, just need to wrap and relax!

Perseverance Pays Off - and the Quest for Mushy Food....

Today has been a very good day.  After several calls back and forth between myself and the insurance coordinator at the bariatric center, and between the insurance company - everyone is on the same page!  THANK YOU so much to Clara, my awesome insurance coordinator at the bariatric center.  I could not have done this without her.  In the course of 24 hours, we have gotten it approved (preliminary) to switch the surgery code on my insurance claim to the Gastric Sleeve.  I am so much happier and at peace with my decision now.  I had some concerns because of some of the permanent limitations of the bypass, and those were limitations that do not exist with the sleeve.  We just have to wait a day or so for the final "paperwork" to come back from the insurance company, and then the final sign-off from the surgeon - but I have been assured that I am able to keep my surgery date. 
So....with the good word from my insurance coordinator, knowing that I'm keeping my surgery date - tomorrow evening begins the week of mushy food.  Starting tomorrow, I will be living on protein drinks, unsweetened apple sauce, sugar-free pudding, and cream of wheat.  It was definately an interesting trip to the grocery store - buying mush for myself, and trying to find easy to cook dinners for John & the boys for the next two weeks - stuff that doesn't take a ton of effort, since I can't eat it, but that they will like to eat. 
I'm also very appreciative to my awesome sister-in-laws who completely understood that I didn't want to cook anything for Christmas dinner, so I get to bring the rolls, "relish tray" and dessert. 
To all the family and friends that have already volunteered to help out with watching my boys, driving kids back and forth during the recovery time, and just being supportive in general, THANK YOU so very much.  To my awesome husband - who has been supportive of this from the very first thought of it, and who is right there with me asking questions, and generally watching out for me - I love you very much and couldn't do this without you.  The next week is going to fly by...and I honestly can't wait!

Unexpected Changes (I hope!)

In my quest to find some bariatric surgery support blogs late last night, I found some very interesting information - in the few short weeks since the paperwork was filed to my insurance company for my surgery, they made changes to their policy - for the better!  Previously, the only surgery (other than the lap band) they would cover was the Roux-en-y Gastric Bypass.  This is where they make a small "pouch" at the top of the stomach.  The smaller stomach is connected directly to the middle portion of the small intestine, bypassing the rest of the stomach and the upper portion of the small intestine.  To be successful with this surgery, there are several things that must be given up permanently - caffeine, alcohol, carbonated beverages, fat, sugar, high acid foods, etc.  Plus I'd have to take lots of extra supplements, AND the actual stomach is still there - it's just not being used.  It was not my first choice, but since insurance said it was my only choice, it's what I was going to do.
The other type of surgery that was previously considered "experimental" by my insurance is the Gastric Sleeve.  This is simply removing 85% of the stomach, creating a "sleeve" shaped stomach.  With this surgery,  the food restrictions are much less. 
So, this afternoon, with article in hand, I called my insurance company and they confirmed that yes, the sleeve is indeed now covered.  The next call I made was to the insurance coordinator at the bariatric center - to see if it's too late to get the coding switched and still keep my surgery date.  I'm anxiously waiting for their promised call back tomorrow.  John & I talked about it - and decided that if I have to reschedule the surgery to ensure that I can have the sleeve instead of the bypass, that I would.  If it has to be rescheduled, it should only get pushed by maybe a week or so - but I'm praying that I can keep the same date. 
Hopefully, I'll know more tomorrow.....

Lets Start at the Very Beginning

I've been toying around with starting a blog for sometime now - and honestly, do not know why I chose tonight to do it, but here it is.  So....let's start at the beginning - or - at least - the beginning of some major changes in my journey.

LOVE & LOSS
To begin my journey here in my blog, I really have to back up about 3 years in the past.  My relationship with my mom was wonderful - we talked or emailed almost every day (she lived in Florida) - she had already successfully battled 2 bouts of cancer, and was doing quite well...and she confided in me that while she had successfully battled it in the past, each time got harder, and she didn't want to fight it again, and that if she got cancer again, she would not seek any treatment.  That broke my heart to hear, but I understood.  Skip to October of 2008 - Mom was starting to feel poorly, and I told her I was pregnant with our 2nd child.  Additionally, my neice was also 5 months along with her first baby.  Mom was expecting her first great-grandchild and another grandchild.  When she found out for sure that she was indeed battling cancer again, she decided to hold on and try to fight.  While I was thankful that she was trying to fight, it quickly became evident that it was not really working.  My mom, who I used to talk to daily, did not even have the strength to say hello into the phone.  It was the hardest 9 months of my life.  Alex was due the end of May, and I prayed every day that she would hold on long enough for Alex to be born, and for us to get to Florida so she could meet him, and that I could see her one last time.  Thankfully, Alex was born 5 weeks early, and was cleared to travel in mid-May.  I will never forget the last words she said to me and to John - and the joy she got when I introduced her to her newest grandson...and I miss her every day.  Even now, 18 months after her passing, I still catch myself going to write her an email, or picking up the phone to call her to share some news of the day.
Then, in 2010 alone, we lost John's Aunt to a long term illness, and 2 friends of ours to very sudden deaths - the two sudden deaths hit my soul like a ton of bricks.  A very dear friend of mine, Tina, passed away in the spring of Leukemia.  She was diagnosed and was gone all within a months time.  She was my age - with 2 small children and a loving husband.  I cannot imagine not being there for my kids.  It truely scared me.  Then, in the summer, an old friend passed away in her sleep the night before her daughters wedding.  I felt like the universe was flashing a giant neon danger sign in my face.  It all hit a little too close to home.

LIFE CHANGES COME IN SMALL PACKAGES...
and his name is Alex.  Alex rocked our world in so many ways.  Just like his big brother, he came 5 weeks early.  I was even cleared to deliver him naturally, which was such a blessing to not have another C-Section.  Unlike his brother, even though he weighed more and was longer than John, he was not eating and was losing weight -and had to stay in the hospital an extra week.  We finally got him home, got him eating and for the most part was doing very well - until he was 6 months old - and tried his first bite of pasta - and broke out in hives from head to toe.  Thus started a whole new journey for us - food allergies.  Alex is severely allergic to gluten (no, not celac - its a true allergy) and mildly alleric to wheat in general.  The amount of changes that we have done to live with his allergy has been amazing.  Then - when we thought we covered all the bases, he would still break out in mystery hives.  Turned out, in a search for gluten free playdough recipe, we found a list of weird gluten facts - including that most "off the shelf" women's makeup contains gluten - especially lipstick.  Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a lipstick whore.  I was practically in tears when I realized that I was the one causing his mystery hives - and immediately dumped out the entire contents of my "makeup drawer" into the garbage.  But - again, the universe was sending me signs.  I had been using Mary Kay products for over 15 years, but never exclusively.  Unfortunately, my Mary Kay consultant was my friend Tina, who had just passed away the previous month.  2 days after doing research on all the "off the shelf" makeup containing gluten, my neighbor invited me to a Mary Kay party at her BFF's house.  Since I didn't have a consultant anymore, I agreed, because I wanted to know about their ingredients to see if it would be safe.  Sure enough - it is gluten free with the exception of the mascara and the eye primer.  So, I promptly booked a party for myself, and then, after some serious thought, decided to sell it myself.  Since then, no more mystery hives on Alex caused by mommy's kisses!!!

MAJOR DETOURS START WITH PAIN AND BIG DECISIONS...
So, meanwhile, while dealing with loss, food allergies, a new person in our house and general every day life, I of course have been trying to take some things to heart as I go along.  The first thing was that when I got pregnant with Alex, I was the heaviest weight I ever was in my life - 300 pounds.  Before Alex, I tried to exercise, but really had a rough time - knees and back just couldn't handle it.  With Alex, I had a very rough pregnancy - I actually lost a total of 50 pounds from the day I had my first OB appointment to the day I left the hospital after giving birth.  I felt great - or so I thought.  So, I started exercising more, started doing Zumba with some friends (LOVED IT, by the way...) and at first, all was well.  Sure, I was sore, but that's to be expected.  Then, after a few weeks, I was starting to have more and more pain.  By mid-summer, I had to stop doing Zumba completely - the pain in my back, knees, ankles, feet, etc were overwhelming.  Some mornings I can barely get out of bed.  So, here I am with a 1 year old and a 7 year old, and cannot keep up with them.  Couple that with the constant thought of my friend Tina leaving her 2 babies with no mother, and I found myself at my doctors asking for help.  I've always known that I would have arthritis in other joints someday.  I've had mild arthritis in my wrists since I was 16 years old.  I didn't think I would be getting it already at 36 years old.  The doctor confirmed my suspicion that yes, my weight can definately speed up the degeneration, and that if I don't do something quickly, I will only get worse, not better.  So, the decision was made that I would be having gastric bypass surgery.  My surgery date is December 29th.  I'm very excited and nervous all at the same time.  I should be ok to start doing my Wii Fit pretty quickly after my surgery, and hopefully after I lose the first 50 pounds, should be able to try Zumba again and see how the pain levels are.  I'm so thankful that my husband is supportive of me and of this decision, because I'm going to need all the love & support I can get - especially in the first 8 weeks. 

So - this is the documentation of the new leg of my life's journey - the continuing trials of Alex's allergies and my bariatric surgery!